Youth Violence Prevention Project

A strong relationship with your teen is an important protective factor to help them navigate relationship challenges. Despite near around the clock connectivity via social media, today’s youth can feel more disconnected and lonely than ever! Keep the lines of communication open - ask, but don’t force (this can feel like a delicate dance).

Unhealthy adolescent relationships can occur in friendships or intimate partner relationships. It’s important to show you care about them, even if you don’t agree with the unhealthy relationships they choose.

Teens also need help managing stress and identifying coping strategies that work for them. It’s helpful if the adults in their lives model how to cope with stress in a positive way by eating well, getting daily physical activity, adequate sleep, time in nature and talking to trusted friends or family.  

Action Item: In non-pandemic times we would encourage supporting in-person relationships and activities, such as going to the movies, playing a game of pick-up or games nights, but right now most of those things aren’t accessible. Instead, support youth to focus on what they can do, like meet a friend for an outdoor walk or do a parallel activity over FaceTime.

Resources

• Tips for Building Healthy Relationships with your Teenagers
• Bullying: What Parents Need to Know
• The Fourth R: Parent Resources

The high school years are full of change. Young people are adapting to new relationships and demands and finding their independence. During the teen years, many youth will experiment with substance use for a variety of reasons, including curiosity, fun and social belonging. Some youth will also use substances to cope with stress or emotional pain. Any substance use can become problematic, but poor mental health from stress or other difficulties makes it harder for youth to make good decisions about their substance use.

Helping teens identify sources of stress and how to manage stress in a positive way can reduce the risk they’ll turn to substances to cope. This can also help them build resiliency.

How can you help? Have a discussion about how to manage stress by doing things like listening to music, going for a walk, or talking to a caring adult/sibling/friend. The good news is that research suggests adolescents are more likely to turn to in-person sources when they have questions about sensitive topics.  

Action Item: Ask your teen to consider who in their life could help support them through times of stress. Do they know how to ask for help and where to go if they need it? Asking for help is a sign of strength. Sometimes adults need help too with parenting or stress that arises from family, employment etc. Visit the Mental Heath Support page for a list of local supports. 

What protects teens from substance and drug misuse?

• Positive role modelling
• Early recognition of trouble
• Open communication 
• Caregivers knowing their teen's friends
• Extracurricular activities

What are some strategies caring adults can use?

• Get involved, but not too involved - it’s a fine balance!
• Help them build healthy friendships 
• Keep the lines of communication open

Resources

• Here to Help: Substance Use and Young People Resources
• What Parents Need to Know about Teen Risk Taking - Strategies for Reducing Problems Related to Alcohol, Other Drugs, Gambling and Internet Use (PDF) - CAMH

Research shows that teens who have talked to their parents about sex are more likely to postpone sex and be safe when they begin to engage in sexual activity.  

How can you help? Answer questions openly and honestly!  Did you know that parents/caregivers are the preferred source of information when it comes to sexual health? Scary, but true! Answer questions honestly and don’t be afraid to admit when you don’t know something.  

Discuss sex and sexuality as you would any other subject - encourage them to ask questions and help them feel comfortable discussing sensitive topics (this may take a little practice for both of you, but it’s worth it). If they don’t come to you with questions, it’s time to start a discussion. You can postpone if they’re not into it, but this shows them you’re comfortable with them bringing up the discussion any time.  

A favourite quote from author Peggy Orenstein is “talk to your [teenagers] about sex the way you would about table manners: often, even if you’d rather poke yourself in the eye with a fork”.  If teens can’t have uncomfortable conversations with their caregivers, how can we expect them to have difficult conversations with others later? 

Resources

• TBDHU Sex & Sexuality
• Teaching Sexual Health: Information for Parents
• Sex & U - What is Consent?

Grocery shopping, cooking and eating together is a great way to stay connected, model healthy eating patterns and teach food preparation and cooking skills. Including teens in selecting food items and planning meals provides them with the independence they crave.

Since their peer group is so influential, this allows you to model the importance of developing a healthy eating pattern, which means regularly selecting and consuming foods that give our bodies what they need to maintain health and allow us to do the activities we enjoy. 

Try to aim for a healthy balance instead of restricting foods (which can actually increase desire for certain foods) and avoid labelling foods as good/bad.  Also consider how emotions contribute to our food choices and vice versa.  Did you know that recognizing thoughts and emotions prior to eating can help you make better food choices, and that the foods we eat have an impact on our brain function and mood? 

How can you help?

• Role model the value of healthy eating and starting the day off with breakfast. 
• Make mealtimes matter! Eating together has benefits for the whole family - make a goal to eat together several times a week.
• Take time to explore the smell, taste and texture of food as you eat.
• Encourage everyone to pay attention to and respect their body’s hunger and fullness signals. Try to avoid eating for reasons other than hunger, such as boredom or stress.
• Remove distractions from mealtimes - consider turning off TV, putting phones away, sitting at the table, etc.
• Avoid making comments about the food choices of your teen. Provide them with plenty of options from Canada’s Food Guide, but give them independence to choose.

Resources

• Healthy Eating - TBDHU
• Canada's Food Guide - Health Canada
• UnlockFood.ca - Dietitians of Canada